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Lately, B and I have been wondering if money, in fact, could buy happiness. Mostly because the acute lack of it seems to cause so much UNhappiness.

The general consensus among our friends seems to be that if you're happy, then money can make you happier, but if you don't have a clue about what's really important in life and you try to use money to fill your holes, well, then, you'll be unsuccessful.

I buy that -- but what about when your furnace dies and your ceiling collapses and your house floods and your floors are wrecked and there are holes in the walls, ceilings and floors and water drips all over your instruments and old photos and books and you aren't even there? You're out on tour playing music, of all things, and drinking beer, enjoying yourself and laughing like an idiot, thinking everything back at the homestead's all locked up tight. And it's all gotta be fixed and Santa's gotta come -- along with the furnace guy and the plumber and the floor guy and the painter and the electrician and the bills and the groceries and...and...and!?

You know what happened? Great people happened. Our neighbors bailed all the water out of our house, rolled up our carpets, moved our furniture, dried our walls and called a Disaster Mitigation company (!!). Then they called us on tour and told us not to freak out, that everything was under control. And then you know what they did? They asked us if there was anything ELSE they could do!

Tonight at the club here in D.C., I had an "honor box" of homemade CD's at my feet while I played; you put $10 bucks in and take a CD. This is low key to the point of pathetic as far as enterprises go, but out-of-the-blue (and contrary to our previous agreement) the club demanded 20% of our proceeds, an unusually greedy thing for a club to do to an opening act selling only CDs, in our experience. Billy made a point of letting the crowd overhear what was going on and immediately, people began crowding in, stuffing money into the box, some not even bothering to wait for change or take a CD. More (embarrassingly) great people.

Like almost everybody, we have more than a lot of people, less than others. Owning a house at all is pretty f*cking fancy in this world (hell, having a house is getting to be fancy in too many places lately) and we are happy, so we don't have any holes we wanna try and fill in, either. We're grateful for the broken furnaces and shitty clubs that allow us the chance to witness the genuine kindness that happens when people are given the opportunity to show they care.

Money is a good tool in that respect, but so is time. And emotional investment. Thank you for buying records and going to shows, but more importantly, thank you for making my songs a part of your own soundtrack; it means everything to me.

You great people, you.

Love,
Kristin

Mania

I want to take this particular minute and address the shared concern some of you have expressed to me -- that I seem to hate my old songs, particularly Throwing Muses songs. I'm in London this morning, having played an entire set of Throwing Muses songs at the Scala last night and I want you to know that I truly enjoyed every song I played, though I was close to tears for a few dangerous moments.

These old songs are difficult, prickly and angry and I can handle that. The problem, I believe, is one of relevance, and not in the way you might think: it's that they are STILL relevant. If I could leave these feelings and stories behind me, I could fly through the material like a cover band: wheeeeeeeeeeee! But those same goddamn feelings are ongoing and so is that same goddamned story. I'm ashamed of this, to be honest. I had big plans that did not include being the same person who wrote those songs 20 years after the fact.

Solo acoustic and 50FootWave songs move me just as hard, tear me the hell apart, in fact, but in a GOOD way. And I don't have to remember anything but the music when I play them. To be in the middle of an old Throwing Muses song is to be living in my car again, pregnant, diagnosed schizophrenic and subsequently drugged, cutting myself, sleeping on floors, hiding from stalkers I wasn't famous enough to deserve, getting felt up at the bar, fighting for the $50 in gas money the band earned per show (club people regularly pulled guns on me), each new song a Sheherazade story keeping me alive only to hear how it ends.

So, I'm not whining, I'm just saying that life was unpleasant back then and was actually about to get much, much worse. Life is real hard...duh-uh.

And now, I gotta say, life isn't easy: I work harder, I care more and if I was ever crazy, well, then, I feel the same as I always did, so I guess I've got that going for me, too. But life is amazing. Really amazing.

I appreciate your concern, but I'm nobody to worry about.

Love,
Kristin

RIZZO-O-O-O-O-O!!

I played with Bob Mould the other night at the Grog Shop in Cleveland; a precursor to our DC show later on this month. I haven’t seen Bob in at least a year and he looked totally different: Husker Du-lovely. He seemed happy and appeared to be in soft focus, all flannel shirted and casual. It was beautiful. My kids baked him whole wheat chocolate chip cookies to take with him on the road. They’re a little worried because “Uncle Bob” seems to live in his car -- Where do you think WE live? we asked them.

But now I’m back in my beloved Rhode Island -- what the rich folks all bought up and won’t let the rest of us live in anymore. But today, I don’t care ‘cause I’m at Steve Rizzo’s Stable Sound studio: my favorite place in the world. When I walked in today and smelled the horses and the cinnamon coffee, I thought, “When I die, I’m gonna haunt this place”. Which may be true because Billy has instructions to scatter my ashes at Sachuest Beach, down the road from here -- Billy has refused on the grounds that he’ll be dead then…we’re in a sort of race.

I’m recording my next solo record here with Steve and then mixing it with good ol’ Trina Shoemaker, late of New Orleans. I have yet to determine the character of this record; the first day in the studio is a day of extremes: nerves, boredom, excitement, confusion…always a bit of “how do we do this again?”. Soon the songs’ll take over and start bossing us around. That’s when it gets good.

But already I don’t want to go home.

Love,
Kristin

Free Music

I heard the new 50Foot Ep, "Free Music", this morning. It is mixed and mastered, shiny and new. Wyatt, our 8 year old, says it sounds like "50FootWave, happy...like, if you put it on at a party, it wouldn't ruin the atmosphere," and I agree. I'm sure this is a good thing.

Mudrock's production is amazing and Joe Gastwirt did us a huge favor by lending the project his mastering expertise (these Hollywood types...working for pennies!). The whole thing done in less than 5 days, but it sure doesn't sound like it.

So we'll be giving these songs away in the hope of freeing music. We are so much like superheroes, it's almost scary. I'm not sure when it'll be available, exactly -- we're talking to some other sites about offering the Ep too and that's taking a while. More soon...

Love,
Kristin